Bible Belters repent at Knesset

Surreal deal. A whole passle of Christian Zionists are in town to mark the 40th anniversary of Jerusalem's unification (when Israel reconquered the walled city where the Second Temple once stood, during the Six-day war). About 200 of them showed up at the Knesset to read a belated letter of repentance, an abject apology for two millenia's worth of Christian atrocities against the Jewish people. Coincidentally, this is an act many of them reckon will hasten the "End Days" before the Second Coming of Christ. The bloodbath of Middle Eastern current events leads some to believe that the prophesized "Time of Tribulations" is already underway in the Promised Land. The unusual prayer service was sponsored by the Knesset Christian Allies Caucus. The mixed Israeli and Evangelical audience belted out Israel's national anthem with vigor, as if it were a martial Zionist hymn.

After the tearful apology came the love fest. Seymour Kook-- a pastor from South Carolina with a name right out of a Bart Simpson cartoon-- read aloud a touching collection of love letters from born-again Christians to the "God of Israel." These expressed gratitude "for the root of God's olive tree (and) for every Jewish father of the faith... we stand in faith in our branch, without arrogance, with humility toward your God and the fathers of Israel, who took us in when we could not deserve him and could not find him."

"May Jacob be blessed by us, not scattered to the nations, but brought back on eagles wings, not inheriting his land divided, but yours, returned to you to steward until the messiah comes, and then forever and ever and ever." The room erupted in applause. Prayers were addressed to the "mighty God of Israel as your holy people, Jews and gentiles, one people as you would want us to be." (No mention of the Jews needing to worship the Messiah, post-Rapture, or else being condemned to hellfire. A minor oversight?)

Meanwhile, as Christian Zionists communed with the Chosen People, the Israeli foreign ministry skipped a long-planned meeting with the Vatican, which would have touched on their strained relations and touchy subjects like taxes on the Catholic Church's Jerusalem properties. This last-minute snub understandably left the diplomats from Holy See quite cross, and they issued a press release to this effect. The High Church in Jerusalem attracts mainly Arab Israelis or Palestinians, both in the priesthood and among the local congregation. Some of their leaders had lashed out at Christian Zionists last summer for misuse of the Book of Revelation as a latter-day Gospel scare tactics. This Knesset prayer session may have been a tatty diplomatic tit-for-tat for the Christian Zionists to relish. Or just a scheduling conflict, as the government asserted. Condi Rice's flit-through was another excuse not to meet Pope Benedict XVI's posse. The German Pope says he will be happy to come visiting once there is peace in the Middle East. Yeah, right. He also says Hell "exists and is eternal," and did not specify when it might freeze over.

Texas twangs and soft Nigerian accents were much in evidence at the Yad Vashem Holocaust museum before the Knesset meeting, and bus loads of evangelical tourists had rumbled up to Yardinit, the latter-day mass baptism spot on the Jordan River which the Kibbutzniks of Kinneret have set up next to their gargantuan souvenir stall. (The actual site of Jesus' baptism is located inconveniently in the West Bank near Jericho. That did not prevent baptisms and re-baptisms of many soggy and joyous bus riders.)

Even though Christian missionaries officially are persona non grata in Israel, and Messianic Jews, who accept Jesus Christ as the Messiah, must be stealthy about spreading their conversion doctrine, the Knesset's Christian Allies Caucus has official approval. Its appeals to evangelical Christians in the US and elsewhere yield large donations , along with prayers of solidarity and political opposition to a two-state solution with Palestine. The government tourist board, wounded by scary media coverage of the Intifadas and conflicts in Gaza and Lebanon, is ecstatic over the popular Evangelical tourist circuit emerging in the Holy Land. Prayer is all the protection these true believers think they need from Qassam rockets or potential suicide bombers, and they continue to arrive in droves. An amusement park, with televangelist Pat Robertson's inimitable input, and a plush Robert Trent Jones-designed golf courses near the Mt of Beatitudes are being developed expressly for Evangelical Christians who seek holy sites beyond Jerusalem. For Chrissakes, what next? One purported attraction is a plexi-glass platform just inches under the surface so visitors can take snapshots of each other walking on the waters of the Sea of Galilee.



painting at top by Salvador Dali, 1951: Christ of St John of the Crucifix
cartoons courtesy of preterist archive

This Situation Stinks

Families in Gaza can rightly complain about being dumped on, and the unlucky Bedouin community of Umm Naser, located just 300 meters from the border with Israel, found themselves awash in a fecal flood yesterday.

To paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld, America’s erstwhile Secretary of Defense, shit happens. It sure does. These villagers literally were caught without a paddle up a chest-deep brown-water creek. Rescuers gagged, and reporters witnessed angry survivors firing bullets at local politicians who came belatedly with photographers to pose beside the stinking mess. At least five people drowned, 35 were injured, and nearly 100 tin shacks were submerged in raw sewage. More bodies are expected to be retrieved, and emergency efforts to prevent further collapses on half a dozen cesspools underway. Now the fault-finding has begun in earnest.

The Palestinian Authority was forced to halt some sewage projects due to sanctions against Hamas, but the undersized treatment plant near Umm Naser was not one of these. True, the United Nations warned in 2004 that these sewage facilities were woefully inadequate and a spill was inevitable unless capacity was increased. Delays were caused by security concerns rather than equipment shortages, authorities insist. But Gaza City's mayor, Majid Abu Ramadan, said the makeshift sewage holding tank gave way on Tuesday morning because locals had dug soil away from an earthen embankment that shored it up and then hawked the dirt to building contractors for $70 a truckload. Subsequently, a sewage tsunami swept away the posessions of the dirt poor and desperate.

The aged sewage treatment plant, built by the World Bank near the frontier, stored incoming waste in seven holding basins. But the growing population now produces quadruple its capacity, so government officials stored the overflow in the nearby dunes, creating a foul lake of sewage covering nearly 110 acres. Bulldozers are reinforcing the remaining cesspools and Mekorot,Israel's national water company, is providing a couple of high-powered pumps. The choking odor drifts over the border. Smells rather like Katrina-- a predicted tragedy which ineptitude worsened.

Is cannabis Kosher?

In the lead-up to Passover celebrations, observant Jews are expected to ritually clean their households and give away offending foodstuffs. On their front page, the Jerusalem Post today highlights the current confusion over whether keeping hemp products in the house violates any religious traditions of kitnyot, practiced by most devout Ashkenazies. (Marijuana and hashish are clearly classified as illegal by Israeli police, although enforcement of this law can be patchy.)


Now, the Aleh Yorok (Green Leaf) Party spokesperson, Michelle Levine, wonders whether a seasonal prohibition of marijuana implies that during the rest of the year, cannabis is kosher. The party, activists for legalizing hashish, is awaiting a Rabbinical consensus on this quandary before its leaders issue a joint statement.

Weed-whiffers in Israel, after all, are not exactly enjoying high times these days. The Green Leaf Party did not fare well in the Knesset elections. Some Israeli potheads blame the problems on that nasty Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah and his minions: after the summer war destroyed prime croplands with rockets, mortars and tank treads and further blocked smuggling routes for any Lebanese Blonde which was harvested, prices surged 800 per cent. (Already, smokers were concerned that their indulgence might constitute high treason, since some traffickers' profits allegdly went to Hizbollah's coffers. Or should that be coughers?)
At any rate, tossing out such high-priced spliffs in order to keep kosher strikes some smokers as unfair. Others argue that it's just a token sacrifice.

Late addendum: Keeping kitnyot was effectively quashed when legume-eating was ruled kosher, according to Ynet news. This may give a whole new slant to the high holy days.

Triple threat: Crocodile chaos at checkpoint

Border guards at the usually-closed Rafah crossing from Egypt into Gaza shrieked in fear last Thursday after an oddly chubby veiled woman was taken aside for a closer inspection. Beneath her loose robe she had strapped a girdle of live crocodiles! The policewoman screamed and bolted from the search cubicle. Even her seen-it-all superiors succumbed to pat-down panic when the dangerous materials in question had teeth and claws.

According to press reports, this was no suicide bomber, then, but a wildlife smuggler. She had tied the mouths of three crocodiles shut with string and cinched the trussed reptiles around her waist. (Photo courtesy of Rafah's European observers.) Each was about 20 inches long, and could be sold for around $500, equivalent to a couple months' salary.

The clandestine crocodile girdle was not the first wildlife contraband seized at this sensitive frontier, where arms and drugs are far more common. Another lady once tried to sneak through a monkey tied to her chest, and attempts to smuggle exotic birds and a tiger cub into Gaza have been thwarted. Wearing full hijab, this smuggler was arrested and her reptiles returned to Egyptian custody. The policewomen finally stopped squealing and some even admired the gumption it took to strap on a reptile belt.

Red Sea, red indeed

Izzy took off for the Sinai coast last week, despite the latest terrorism alerts and arrests, and had a blast. No, not literally. We just relaxed and took a pleasant dip in the Red Sea on the far side of the border. This time, during my sixth swim here ever, the water was blood red. Clearly red. Not an illusion.

Scholars always say that the Red Sea's evocative name has nothing to do with its colour, but is derived from a mis-translation of the Hebrew name, Yam suph (ים סוף)--or "Reed Sea"-- the one through which Moses and his Biblical throng made their exodus. Wikipedia's clickable clique notes that this traditional name comes from the Greek Erythra Thalassa (Ερυθρά Θάλασσα), Latin Mare Rubrum, and Arabic Al-Baḥr Al-Aḥmar. The colour red also might indicate the cardinal direction south, or the rich colour of the sunburnt earthen hills that crouch down to the water's edge and get reflected in the waters. Hmmmm. Could have fooled me.
The simplest explanation is that old-time sailors saw red. Check out my photographic proof above, snapped on the Gulf of Aqaba just north of Nuweiba in the Egyptian Sinai one week ago. (On this aerial photo below, it's near the tip of the little watery horn on the right.)


This startling redness was not a smelly slick on top, like the red tides of southern California. It was not a chemical. The pigment was mixed right into the translucent water and it resembled Martian canal-water or a sign from the heavens that blood would flow. Abdullah, a Bedouin scuba instructor, reassured us that this was just algae which overblooms once in a while, whenever the reef fish which usually eat it are in decline. The scientific name of this plankton-like stuff is cyanobacteria Trichodesmium erythraeum, and I even found a microscopic photo.

Alarmingly, the condition means the coral reefs are at risk.

Own Goals: can football unite the Israelis?

As the Barmy Army of English football fans descends on Tel Aviv's Sportek for the Euro 2008 qualifier this Saturday, sportsmanlike conduct comes under scrutiny on and off the pitch. Racist chants definitely will be monitored.
Die-hard Israeli footy fans were hoping that the general strike might prevent the Brits from landing at the airport, making an extra 5000 tickets magically available. And some newly arrived British Jews still agonize over which side to support in such a momentous match. Is dual allegiance possible? Even after making the total commitment of Aliyah, by moving from the farflung Diaspora to start over in the Jewish homeland, these guys fear flunking the old Thatcherite Norman Tebbit test about loyalty to an adopted country.
Going beyond the standard sports mania and navel-gazing, the Independent's correspondent, Don Macintyre, takes another angle altogether. He examines the loyalties of the 1.4 million Arab-Israelis, of which only two (including the veteran player Walid Badir, pictured above) will play for their nation tomorrow night. Click here to read his thought-provoking piece.

Tiny terrorist: like mother, like daughter?

A four-year-old girl vowed to become a suicide bomber just like Mommy in a Hamas TV show, according to Itamar Marcus, who monitors the airwaves for Palestinian Media Watch.

The disturbing broadcast on Hamas television today purported to show Duha, the four-year-old daughter of the notorious female suicide bomber Reem Riyashi, singing to her dead mother and promising to carry on her terrorist agenda. In 2004,Reem Riyashi killed four Israelis and wounded at least ten people at the Erez crossing between Gaza and Israel. She had gained the sympathy of the checkpoint soldiers by claiming she had a metal plate in her leg that would set off the metal detector. After she was taken to a cubicle to be searched privately, she detonated the bomb stashed under her clothes. The reenacted video clip ends as the orphaned little girl picks up explosives left behind in her mother's dresser drawer.

In the Al Aqsa TV children's program, a child actress plays the daughter, and while watching Riyashi prepare the explosives, she pipes up: "Mommy, what are you carrying in your arms instead of me? A toy or a present for me?" She later sees a TV news story about her mother's suicide mission and gory death, and realizes her mother was the bomber.

"Only now, I know what was more precious than us..." she sings of the martyrdom.

Although Duha misses her mother, she vows to follow in her footsteps. The video ends as she opens her mother's drawer and picks up a stick of dynamite her mother had left there.

It is unclear if this is supposed to be a recruitment video or act as a warning to the guardians of those left behind. Izzy would like to confirm the context of this unsettling propaganda clip. Women suicide bombers do not share identical motives. Personal tragedy is often interwoven with frustration, nihilism, or revenge, and results in these subversive act of terror by young females, according to analysts. Last summer, a gruesome Palestinian grandmother blew herself up as well.


Song lyrics sung by little Duha, Reem's daughter, are below:

[Daughter sees mother preparing explosives sticks]

"Mommy, what are you carrying
in your arms instead of me?

[Mother turns to hide bomb]

A toy or a present for me?...
Mommy Reem!
Why did you put on your veil?
Are you going out, Mommy?...
Come back quickly, Mommy
I can't sleep without you,
unless you tell me and Ubaydah [her brother] a bedtime story.

[Daughter sees mother's picture and news story about bombing on PA TV]

My mother, my mother,
Me and Ubaydah are awake and waiting for you
to come to put us to sleep.
Me and Ubaydah, oh Mommy,
still need you to wipe our tears...
Instead of me you carried a bomb in your hands.
Only now, I know what was more precious than us...
May your steps be blessed,
and may you be flawless for Jerusalem.
Me and Ubaydah wish we were there with you.

[Images of her mother's grave and the graves of other terrorists,
including Aayat Al-Akhras, 17-year-old female suicide bomber and Fatah operative]

Send greetings to our Messenger [Muhammad] and tell him:
'Duha loves you.'
My love will not be [merely] words.
I am following Mommy in her steps.

[Finds explosives that mother left in her drawer,
picks up stick of explosives]

Oh Mommy, oh Mommy."

It's about time somebody puts some more positive role models on the kiddy shows. Apparently, Seinfield and Mr Bean reruns don't do the trick. Young Palestinian children, who have minimum contact with Israelis other than with soldiers, have been the target of an outreach program by some of the militias since 2002. Could increased education and exchange programs counteract the seeds of hate that result in sick images like the one below? No, it's not a bad taste Purim costume.


photo courtesy World Net Daily