How a tete a tete in Tel Aviv took the pro out of protocol. Syriously, folks

Will Bibi cuss Damascus?

Egg appeared on some high-profile faces when this gem from the wires made its way around the blogosphere ---without a second glance at today's date, which happens to be the first of April. But the squawks of outrage that came in the wake of this tale show how the surprise visits of Bashar and Bibi could backfire and cause diplomatic chaos! It's not too late for the Syrian prez to come back and wish the 100 year old Big Falafel a happy birthday tomorrow (I am referring to the port city of Tel Aviv, and not the new Israeli PM.) Israelity Bites.

DAMASCUS, Syria (AP) — Fresh on the heels of a regional summit in Doha where President Bashar al-Assad had reaffirmed his support for resistance against Israel while expressing reservations about the Arab Peace Initiative, the Syrian president dropped a bombshell by embarking on an epoch-making visit to Tel Aviv, Wednesday morning.

“Nobody saw this coming,” said Mark Burnes, a State Department analyst who monitors Syrian affairs. “We knew that they were close to a deal, but the Israelis didn’t tell us how close.”

Security arrangements appeared to have been made in advance to permit the passage of the presidential aircraft into Israeli airspace, and a small retinue of high-level ministers and military officials awaited al-Assad at Tel Aviv’s Ben Gurion International airport.

The highly secret preparations for the visit, however had produced an improbable breach of diplomatic protocol: the absence of Israeli Prime Minister Benyamin Netanyahu among the ministerial welcoming delegation. Official sources say that earlier that same morning, the Israeli PM had himself embarked upon an epoch-making visit to Syria, touching down in Damascus=2 0International Airport only 6 minutes after President al-Assad arrived in Tel Aviv.

A high-level source in the Syrian Foreign Ministry said that they were baffled by an alert from the Syrian Air Defense Force, notifying them that an Israeli civilian aircraft had entered Syrian airspace and was requesting permission to land in Damascus.

“We had scrambled four MiG-29 interceptors, but when the pilots of the Israeli jet explained who was on board their aircraft, our Air Force High Command relayed the message to us with a request for clarification,” the Foreign Ministry source said.

Asked if the Syrians had been expecting a reciprocal visit from Netanyahu at a later stage, the source responded, “All that I can say is that the scheduling error was committed by the Israelis. We were supposed to visit first.”

The Israeli Foreign Ministry declined to comment on the mix-up, but a source in the Prime Minister’s office confirmed that the ball appeared to have been dropped by the Israelis.

“Our staff has been stretched to the breaking point for the past three weeks, trying to form the ruling coalition and putting together the cabinet. Netanyahu has been meeting MK’s until all hours of the night; he’s exhausted and over-worked. It’s understandable that a scheduling error might occur under these circumstances,” the advisor said.

Responding to a question about the potential outcome of this lo gistical mishap, a source in the British Foreign Office said: “Well, it certainly changes the story a bit, doesn’t it? This was supposed to be the “Sadat goes to Jerusalem” moment, but they fouled it up. They’re like ships passing in the night… or, airplanes passing in the day, or whatever.”

As of this writing, Prime Minister Netanyahu was still in the air returning from Damascus to Tel Aviv, where he will be received by President Bashar al-Assad of Syria.

For the latest updates on this story, click here

Mystery of France's Femme Fatale and the suicidal Druze Guard at Ben Gurion

She's drop dead gorgeous, without a doubt. Mighty men often have succumbed to the charms of Carla Bruni Sarkozy, the brainy First Lady of France, who happens to be Italian and irrepressible. Everyone from the Dalai Lama (snapped beside her this month in ersatz dunce cap, above) to Mick Jagger have been eager to interact with this model-cum-singer-cum-paramour. When Carla left Ben Gurion airport earlier this summer, scampering up the jet's steps "like a gazelle", in the words of an enraptured al Jazeera reporter, there'd been parting shots drowned out by the military band and one Israeli guard lay dead on the tarmac. This incident was duly investigated by the IDF, and almost immediately ruled a suicide. It was a very odd way to top oneself, as Dion Nissenbaum of Checkpoint Jerusalem has noted. The guard's family figures that he couldn't help sneaking a peek at her through his rifle's scope and his ogling made him look like a sniper. Read on for the naked truth:

But the family of the dead Israeli border guard, Raed Ghanem, challenged the [IDF cover] story from day one. And now they have come up with a counter-theory.

Call it The Carla Conspiracy.

Here's the theory as laid out by Samer Ali, the attorney representing the dead border guard's family.

Raed Ghanem was a happy father of two toddlers, a Druze border guard who had no reason to kill himself.

On the morning in question, Ghanem excitedly told his wife that he was going to get to see Carla Bruni, the sultry, alluring, model-turned-singer-turned-French First Lady.

Ghanem was stationed at least 100 yards from the farewell ceremony, on the outer edge of the security detail, according to Israeli police.

Ali's theory is this: In an attempt to sneak a peek at Carla, Ghanem raised his M-16 so he could check her out through his scope.

Then... blam! Ghanem was taken out by another member of the security team who thought the Druze border guard was raising his M-16 to take out one of the world leaders.

Considering the insatiable interest Carla creates wherever she goes, it's not an outlandish theory. (Any good conspiracy theory has to have a plausible starting point.)

Unfortunately for Ghanem's family, there isn't much evidence to back up the claims at this point.

The Israeli police investigation isn't done yet, but spokesman Mickey Rosenfeld restated there is no doubt that Ghanem killed himself.

Ali has pulled together all the kinds of threads one would collect to question the official version of events: Alleged eyewitnesses who say more than one shot was fired. Information from "insiders" that the police investigation has determined that Ghanem did not kill himself. Autopsy observers for the family who contend that there were no powder burns on Ghanem's hands. And a contention that Ghanem's fatal wound suggests that he was shot in the back of the head.

"The most likely theory is that he was looking at Carla Bruni through his telescope and someone shot him," Ali told Checkpoint Jerusalem. "We're certain that there's something being hidden. He had no reason to kill himself."

Israelity bites.

Shooting stops Sarkozy farewell fest dead

"Shalom, we had a blast!"

Er, well, at least up to the time that a guard killed himself Tuesday in the middle of a farewell ceremony at Tel Aviv's Ben-Gurion airport. The security was tight for French President Nicolas Sarkozy, his wife Carla Bruni, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, President Shimon Peres and other state dignitaries. Police spokesman Shlomi Sagi said the guard died in an apparent suicide, and police denied an attempted assassination attempt on Sarkozy.

However, a conflicting report said the soldier apparently fell from a vantage point he was occupying on a high building, from where he was securing the event, and the bullet that killed him misfired from his M-16 rifle.

According to Israel Radio, the incident happened no more than 200 meters from where Olmert was standing.

Initially, the prime minister's security personnel withdrew their handguns and rushed Olmert and Peres to bullet-proof cars, while Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy were rushed to the French president's plane. The shooting occurred while a military band was playing, and the leaders apparently didn't hear anything.

When the incident ended Olmert and Peres boarded Sarkozy's plane to bid the French president farewell.

It was not immediately clear whether the soldier died from the impact of the fall or from the misfired bullet.

The incident brought the ceremony to an abrupt end.

Some jested that the security guard lost his footing while straining to see Madame Carla, the French first lady, who has had a Jackie Kennedy dazzle on the populace at large. Israel Radio said the soldier who was shot was stationed 100 meters to 200 meters away. Two women soldiers who witnessed the shooting were treated for shock, the radio said.

Israel's volunteer medical service Zaka said the soldier apparently committed suicide. But other media reports said he may have fainted from the heat, discharging his gun accidentally.

There was no immediate word on the soldier's condition.

Winging it with airline pick-up lines

As Izzy Bee prepares to fly out for a quick visit to Morocco, on a day when travelers from Israel are on alert for retaliatory terrorism, a little gallows humour helps. My buddy sent me this:
A nerdy guy is sitting in the bar in departures at Ben Gurion airport. A
gorgeous woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides because she's that pretty, she's probably an off-duty
flight attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by
identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto 'We love
to fly and it shows'.

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto 'Winning thehearts of the world'.
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her
face. Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian
Airlines motto 'Going beyond expectations'.


The woman looks at him and says 'What the fuck do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face. 'El-Al'.

(hat-tip to Jim Teeple for the joke.)